EPISODE 36: Rookie Thoughts on Osaka

Now that we've been here almost three years, we figured it was safe to post our impressions from the first three months. Because, you know. Timeliness. 

Our three months of life in Japan and in Osaka have been filled with surprises, realizations, and adventures and misadventures, not to mention staying in an Airbnb, a tiny hotel room, and now, our apartment. We decided to process our experiences so far in list form.

But first... random Engrish.

Generally, one does not want to be in any sort of a rush after eating large quantities of meat, but, okay Japan.
(From Yodobashi Camera)

I think this is missing an "It's" at the beginning.
(From our neighborhood)

Things that surprised us:

• Mind-boggling levels of bureaucracy:
• Airport bureaucracy: between the time we landed at Haneda and got on our flight to Itami, we ended up with four tickets - one for going through immigration, one for checking into our flight, one for going through security upon changing terminals, and one upon scanning our ticket at the gate, whereupon the flight attendant printed out another ticket with our seat on it? (With all tickets color-coded, of course.) By the time we got on the plane, it seemed like we should be using our collection for a ticker-tape parade.
• Cell phone bureaucracy: it took us, no joke, about four and a half hours to get phones and a phone plan, with two sales reps and a friend from work helping us. This is not to mention that we also only have about five relevant pieces of information that we can enter onto any sort of form. (But, we got a huge coupon from it, so I guess that's all good?)
• Surprising levels of courtesy: We met up with our realtor for what we thought would be a quick signing of our apartment rental contract before our Wednesday night volleyball game... until he insisted on taking us out for tea and dessert at the Ritz Carlton... with us in our volleyball clothes.
• The summer work "uniform": my morning commute is awash with people (men especially) dressed in black pants and white, short-sleeved, button-down shirts. The sameness is fierce.

• Differing definitions of "unfurnished apartment": "unfurnished apartment" in Japan means "imagine you abandoned your apartment in Detroit and someone went through and looted it." Most places we looked at had no fridge or washing machine included, no AC unit, no curtains, and not even light fixtures or bulbs.
• City noise: city life in Osaka is surprisingly (almost eerily?) quiet. We live in a downtownish area now, and with the exception of the occasional baseball game at the park near us, it is quieter here than our apartment on Jeju... which sat between two orange groves and a kiwi farm.
• Quieter, that is, except for the cicadas in some parts of town. The cicadas can be so loud. When our subway first pulled up to the station where my school is located, I couldn't tell if the deafening hissing sound I was hearing was steam from the train, or cicadas. It was cicadas.
• Also, cicadas got shooters out there. On the second morning I walked to work, a hummingbird-sized cicada flew down the street and straight into my face, and almost knocked my glasses off my head.
• The weather: Summer weather in Osaka is like Jeju hot and humid x city. Sweatiness is the norm, especially since there's always walking involved wherever we go. 
• Also, still typhoons: we were here for the strongest one to hit Osaka in the last 25 years, and while fortunately, we didn't experience any bad effects, the pine trees in the park near us can't say the same.

Daww, park statue Dad is shielding his daughter from the falling tree and teaching her how to flee on her bike. Stellar guy.

• Don Quijote stores: we'd been into these several times before in our travels to Japan, but now that we've been in to buy things like appliances, we can't help wondering... how do they stay open with so much stock, such deep discounts, and so many neon signs? Is their business model Wal-mart meets Building 19 meets The Labyrinth?
• The time warp: we thought living in Japan would be like living in the future... but it's more like living in an alternate timeline where the credit card was never invented and flip phones are still a thing.

Gaijin (foreigner) moments:

• Dollar store clerk, after we greeted her in Japanese: *blinkblink* Sorry, I was surprised you spoke Japanese!
• Store clerks in furniture stores magically acquire the ability to speak English after a few minutes of us using our pathetically inadequate Japanese. Meanwhile, clerks in the tech stores where numerous signs advertise, "we have English speakers!" have no idea what we are saying. ^^' 
• Road rulebreakers: no one follows the signs that say where to walk on the stairs or where bikes should be or not be on the sidewalk. In a land where so much is ruled by order, this oversight never fails to shock Ben.
• Pay-to-play train tickets: we continually forget the ticketing machines work this way. You put your money into the train ticket machine first, then you choose the fare that you want... and the machine actually gives you your change back. Clearly, the train ticket machine has never met an American pay phone.
• An "IH" sign on the label of the pan you're looking at does not mean the product you're seeing is an induction heat pan... sometimes it's saying in small print, "hey, this isn't an IH pan, so don't bring it home, put it on your stove, start making dinner, try different methods for turning on your stove for 20 minutes, and then ask your building supervisor to come help you because you think your stove is broken. Your stove is not broken. Your Japanese is broken."

Recent Ben-cooked dinner using a *real* IH pan

• Pigeons are scary: in the park last week, I watched a grown woman scream and run away after a flock of pigeons landed near her. My Japanese co-worker watched me laughing hysterically over this and observed, "Wow, you're laughing a lot..." which here translates to, "Why are you laughing? Pigeons are ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING."

Above-mentioned park, during a summer festival

Ways Asia has changed us:

• Room size perception: 
• July 27th, looking at our now-apartment with our realtor: "This bedroom is so tiny and cramped! Is that a one-person bed? I'm not sure we could live in this place..."
• August 10th, upon moving into above-mentioned place after spending two weeks in a tiny Japanese hotel: *rolling around on our bed* "Waaaah, this place is huuuuuge!" 
• Looking at places to rent: "This apartment looks really cute! ...Oh, wait, there's no bidet?! Screw this place!"
• "The biggest carton of eggs we can get here only has 8 eggs?! We go through a flat of 48 in a week!"
• "We need a ricemaker, stat."
• We like convenience store food now... and convenient stores are actually convenient.
• We finally broke down and got phones after five years without them. Now we're expected to answer calls and fumble through awkward conversations in Japanese about things like package deliveries. ^^''' I miss phonelessness.
• In general, our first few weeks in Japan have been a refreshing reminder of what it's possible to live without, and what we don't really need to function on an everyday basis. Having small apartments and small spaces is a reminder not to overaccumulate.

Things that put a smile on our faces:

• Recognizing random kanji that we've been learning (on buttons on our stove, on the train, on menus)
• The second-hand store chain here is called "Hard Off"
• Finding out our apartment's kitchen has a fish broiler
• Intense, 1-1/2 hour display of colorful and unique fireworks on the Yodogawa River in Osaka in August, complete with cat, frog, fish, and Doraemon-shaped fireworks! Eat your heart out, Fourth of July. It was suuuuper crowded, though... To quote Ben as he was checking out the line for the loo: "If you think at some point you might want kids, and you think at some point those kids might need the bathroom, you should get in line now."
• Grocery shopping: so many new ingredients to try out!
• Looking out our balcony and discovering that the baseball field near us has been transformed into a summer festival ground, complete with glowing lanterns, food stalls, and band decked out in gold sequins. (Also, may you be inspired to do anything as vigorously as the dancing man in the white button-down with the fans in this video we took of the festival. He's worth the click through, trust us.)
• Finding out MosBurger does actually have vegetarian burgers!
• Junior Championship tennis courts two blocks away from our apartment! (Though the eight and ten year-olds we see playing there would absolutely destroy us in a game)
• Finding out that my work has a volleyball night, and that the people who play are legit!
• Japanese mayonnaise
• Soooo many varieties of pudding desserts... and cute desserts in general

Yes, this is an ice cream in a bubble waffle in an outdoor garden.

Things we miss about Korea:

• Our friends!
• Being able to pay for everything with a credit card. 
• Not feeling like a rookie/being able to tell people what we want and understand what they're saying back. I got a bit misty-eyed this morning remembering the CU lady ringing up our snacks and telling us our total in Korean. ^^'''
• Views of Sanbangsan and Halla-san
• Cute cafes everywhere with great lattes. Japanese coffee seems... merely passable in comparison.
• Farm road and seaside walks
• Cheap oranges, and watching them grow from buds to flowers to tiny green things to ripe deliciousness